Philosophy | 4 0 2

February 22, 2013

Day 90: She’s Funny

I started dating a guy (not from the Internet, although I do think he would appreciate my burning gingerbread house profile picture) who likes reading my blogs out loud to me. It’s a sweet but strange experience that makes me painfully aware of my tendency to use awkwardly long lists and excessive qualifiers.

A couple of evenings ago, he read aloud to me while I sat on the couch and tried to concentrate on a riveting episode of Chopped. In response to my squirming and grumbling, he amicably switched to reading someone else’s blog out loud. I liked that much better until he laughed and said, “She’s funny!”

In general, I don’t feel necessarily competitive (I was more of a “social athlete” in college), but I did feel a little “Oh-no-she-isn’t” twinge kick an extra beat into my heart. Three funny blogs in, I asked him to please go back to reading mine out loud instead.

Days later, I’m trying to figure out what stirred in me. Was it blog envy? Some kind of primal urge to mark my digital territory? Could I have been jealous of her humor prowess?

One of the wonderful things about blogging is that everyone can do it, regardless of how “good” they are. Any 13-year-old with public library access and a dash of tenacity can scoop up some online earth to call their own. So, I’ve always been comfortable knowing there are bloggers out there who are funnier, smarter, deeper, more cultured and more well-read than I am (even some of those 13-year-olds). They challenge the rest of us to be better writers.

As this post is read aloud to me, I’ll listen quietly and dig deep into my soul to source the cause of my discomfort. I’ll also try to use more metaphors.

February 21, 2013

Day 89: Taking Advice

Remember all that great advice you’ve dispensed throughout the years? Maybe you recommended living in the present moment or focusing on the positives. Or you advised resting, smiling, breathing, trying harder, trying a little less hard, eating healthy food, turning off the TV, dancing, exercising, sleeping, talking, not talking or telling the people you love that you love them.

You should totally take your own advice.

Tonight, I’m taking my advice to take one’s own advice and I’m shutting down the computer for the evening. While I crawl into my warm bed and sleep for the next 100 years, please enjoy this photograph of the magical woods in Lutsen, Minnesota.

See you in dreamland.

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February 20, 2013

Day 88: Walking is Hard

I’m currently rehearsing for a dance show that requires me to walk.

Yes, walk. And that’s it. I walk.

But it’s not just any old walking. It’s slow and steady walking that is deliberately quiet, grounded and light. I’m supposed to walk my whole body forward—my heart, my brain, my belly, the space behind my shoulders, the back of my head, my legs, and all of my tissues and skin cells. It requires a kind of presence that is completely absent of ego. In short, it’s hardcore.

Tonight in rehearsal, I sucked at it. I got distracted by my shoes and kept scrunching up my face when I looked at the stage lights. I’m supposed to look forward and walk in a straight line, but somehow I looked sideways and walked in an arch. While half of my brain focused on being extremely cold, the other half reprimanded the cold half for not investing more in the walking (“Pay attention! Walking makes you warmer!”).

But, there it is. Sometimes walking is hard.

And sometimes other, much more complicated stuff is hard. Like knowing where you want to be but not how you should get there. Or wanting to save the whales and the trees but feeling like Earth is too big and you are too small.

Those complicated hard things become easier when they’re broken down into steps. Meeting a life goal? Step one: update your resume. Saving the planet? Step one: bring a reusable bag to the grocery store this week.

Aptly, walking becomes easier when broken down into steps as well. Step one: take a step.

Tomorrow, I will take some really good steps. And hopefully by this weekend, I’ll be walking.

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February 19, 2013

Day 87: Presence Day, Part 2

In honor of day two of Presence Day, I’m proposing a few of additions to our Presence Day regimen.

Meet a good friend for a beer. Talk about the concepts and issues important to you, like kindness, racism, sexism and good balsamic vinegar. And how you’re completely comfortable putting international travel on your credit cards.
Admit you don’t know something. Then learn about it.
Think about someone you love. Then call them, just to say hello (and that you love them).

February 18, 2013

Day 86: Presence Day

I took a yoga class tonight and mistakenly heard my teacher wish us all a “Happy Presence Day.”

It registered quickly that she actually said “President’s Day,” but I like “Presence Day.” I’m taking one starting now. And since it’s already pretty late at night, I’m taking one tomorrow, too.

If you’d like to join me, below is our Presence Day regimen:

At three different times throughout the day, close your eyes and take three long, deep breaths. Don’t worry about your emails, your phone messages or the meeting you may or may not be missing. Everything will wait for three breaths. During each inhale, feel the air slowly draw in through your nostrils, breeze down the back of your throat and gently fill your lungs. On the exhale, let your ribs relax and your shoulders melt as your breath softly releases back out your nose. Three times.
When you feel the urge to interrupt someone, take one of those deep breaths and be quiet instead (also, unclench your jaw). As the person speaks, try not to think about what you want to say. Just listen. When they’re done talking and you’ve really heard it all, let two full seconds pass before you reply. You might be surprised what comes out.
At least once, put your hand on your heart and search for your heartbeat. It’s okay if you do it in the guise of reciting the Pledge of Allegiance—whatever works. But don’t move your hand until you’ve found that beautiful rhythm and enjoyed it for a while.
Smile when you don’t feel like smiling. And not one of those tight-lipped everybody-knows-I-don’t-mean-it smiles. A real one. That tiny, light-hearted muscle movement will help you pull back from whatever darkness you’re headed towards and focus on a present, much more pleasant action.
Eat at least one piece of fruit and a veggie of your choice. I don’t think I need to explain why this is a good idea.

There’s really no way this can turn out badly, so let’s try it and see how it goes.

Enjoy your Presence Day!

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Category: Philosophy