Day 72: Bean Day

by ashleighpenrod

I’ve been eating a lot of chili lately. A non-comprehensive list of people as beans was inevitable. Here she is:

Black Bean. Everybody knows and loves you. You’re humble and unpretentious, but you can be the life of the party in a pinch. You experimented with veganism in college, but you quit when you realized you couldn’t eat real cheese. You love cheese.

Kidney Bean. Depending on the day, you either look classy or glassy and gross. But even on your gross days, you’re very fit. While you’re not an exercise fanatic, you have a consistent cardio workout schedule and enjoy a good detoxification diet. You manage your blood pressure well.

Soybean. You’re well traveled, versatile and have dabbled in multiple different lines of work. People tend to either love you or hate you, and you’re generally successful with your ventures. You don’t like cold weather. And although you’d never admit to it, you secretly think you’re the best bean.

Garbanzo Bean. You’re a little wacky. Deeming yourself indestructible, you once jumped off the roof of a two-story building with a parachute made out of kale. Most things are funny to you and you are funny to most people. You come from a huge family.

Black-Eyed Pea. A born bean, you legally changed your last name to “Pea” on your 18th birthday, but you regretted the decision immensely when “Elephunk” came out in 2004. Even though you seem a little bitter, people see your softer side and generally like being around you.