Day 76: Dating Dancers
by ashleighpenrod
Here are nine things you should know about dating dancers (inspired by this clever post about dating architects).
1. Dancers’ tastes are highly prone to change. They might love pancakes and blues music on Sunday and then think pancakes and blues music are the worst on Monday. This adaptability serves them well in the studio. If a movement they imagine doesn’t seem to work in real life, they’ll change it. Or, they’ll spend three hours trying to execute it before realizing they don’t like it anymore anyway.
2. They’re a little stubborn. It’s impossible to lift another dancer while doing a handstand, you say? Watch and learn, buddy. Real-world translation: the dimensions of that bookshelf are too large for the allotted area, you say? Watch and learn, buddy. Two dented walls and a broken bookshelf later, everything fits.
3. They like dance and they’re pretty sure you’ll like it too if you see as much of it as they do. They may shield you from the two-hour “Objectified: Why Ketchup Makes Me Look Like Meat” solo show, but they’ll invite you go to see anything and everything moderately audience-friendly. The great thing is that you’ll actually really enjoy it (most of it).
4. They have anywhere from three to fifteen different jobs, at least two of which are unpaid. This makes them seem scatterbrained at times, but they’re actually highly organized and dedicated.
5. Dancers’ financial planning skills enable them to get from Point A to Point B, but Point B is probably only two months away. Or it’s tomorrow. Dancers’ art is ephemeral and so is their money. That said, they don’t want you to buy them things. They can take care of themselves.
6. They talk a lot about their perpetual injuries, especially when with other dancers. It’s important to note that they aren’t complaining; injuries are just common conversation topics. “How’s that strained psoas today, Jen?” “Oh, it’s fine. But my IT band is killing me. How’s your knee healing?” “Pretty slow. Check out these bruises!” “Ooh, pretty!”
7. To combat the injuries, they’re constantly getting massages, acupuncture, acupressure and a variety of other bodywork methods that aren’t covered by the insurance they probably don’t have. If they’ve been in the field for a while, they have a pile of bodywork receipts somewhere that you should please not touch or move. It’s their accounting pile and it’s arranged just-so.
8. Dancers’ wardrobes tend to be either vintage-trendy or I’ve-been-wearing-this-disgusting-shirt-since-sixth-grade-and-it’s-still-comfortable-so-I-love-it. They have mastered the art of layering and are generally un-bashful when it comes to changing clothes in public.
9. They’re quirky by nature and they appreciate other quirky people. Don’t hide your collection of 1960s troll dolls or the fact that you can’t get up from a table without knocking on it first. Their freak flags are generally pretty close to the surface, so you should always feel free to fly yours.
Wonderful assessment.
Thanks for stopping by and reading!
The kind of people who spend all day looking at themselves in a mirror.
Hah, well… I may say they’re looking at shapes, not hair and makeup.
It’s a training tool sometimes used, but not always. Dancers constantly assess, correct, modify, observe, and learn about how their bodies move with visual aids such as mirrors, photos, and video. Trust me, it’s not about vanity. Dancers do not have excessively high opinions about their appearance, abilities, or worth when they’re watching themselves in the mirror. It’s quite the opposite, actually.
Looking in the mirror all day at ourselves is a complicated issue. It’s not because we love our reflection. We are not Narcissus staring at our reflection in the water.
A link from IADMS about dancers and the mirror.
Body Image and Mirror Use in the Ballet Class
Sally A. Radell, M.F.A., M.A.
You have missed a couple of crucial points…
1) All conversations end up at dance. Doesn’t matter if the conversation started with “My Grandpa’s cat Felix died”, or “I hear that Zimbabwean inflation rates are approaching those of the Third Reich”, with a few subtle re-directions (or blatant “well, anyways”) it will get back to dance or dance-related gossip.
2) The washing! Dating a dancer is like dating a dirty-washing-minator; 17 pairs of undies, 4 pairs of (odd) socks, general dirty dancing miscellanea (pun intended unfortunately – see point 9 above), and maybe a couple of t-shirts (for good measure) need to be washed every 47 minutes, otherwise your bedroom takes on the musty scent of a dancers foot…
which brings me to:
3) The feet: Need I say anything…?
Jimmy – dancer-dating experience 7 1/2 years and counting 🙂
Haha, I was planning on covering feet in the next installation. Wonderful points, Jimmy.
So true! My poor boyfriend had to also deal with my constant nagging for foot rubs, back rubs, leg rubs. Oh and the fact that I’m lazy balls in getting up from my comfy chair after a long day of dance. LOL.
AHDancer, yes! Comfy furniture is the dancer’s best friend.
Jimmy, you are so right! I sometimes feel like all I do is wash my clothes, but I still have no socks or dance pants. How is that possible? ha ha ha.
oh my green earthly goodness, this is pure gold and extremely awesome! i need it in pamphlet form so that i can hand it out at the beginning of dates so that i don’t get a crazy look when i explain my love of hello kitty or why soft rock hits of the 80s comfort me. mind if i reblog?
bryanosheadance.wordpress.com
Haha, re-blog away. Thanks for stopping by!
Excellent. It helps us to understand our son Chad.
Reblogged this on fortir.miror.artis. and commented:
A funny (but true) blog about dating a dancer from Ashleigh Penrod’s 402 blog, in which she publishes a post daily for 402 days. Check it out – #4, #8, & #9 are my favorites!
Thanks, Bryan! Looking forward to seeing more of your blog!
“Day 76: Dating Dancers 4 0 2” really enables myself contemplate a
tiny bit extra. I really adored every particular part of this post.
Regards ,Carmine
Thank you! This is both true and funny. I just sent it to my new boyfriend. It reads like the instruction manuel that you’d never write yourself but are so glad someone else did. Oh, and the Dansko shoes. Because of the arthritis. So many Dansko shoes. People need to know we don’t wear them because we think they are cute. They are a necessity.
Haha, agreed.
Your post is very helpful as I said to him yesterday that my psoas was unhappy as I pounded away at the hip flexor trying to get it to relax. Such confusion ensued. Oh dear. That’s the moment you know you are a dancer and your way of dealing with the world is strange to non-dancers. We take it for granted that this is normal behavior.
I saw a dancer briefly and one of the things that I could not understand is that he only contacted me once, usually I was the one contacting him. He told me that he had difficulty finding free time. And his actions were telling me that he was not interested in me, so I stop contacting him and I haven’t heard from him since.