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March 27, 2013

Day 123: Sheer Joy

It’s crazy warm in the middle north today! As I write this, it’s 43° F. 43! Spring! Everyone is smiling. We live for this. And although our slightly crazed feelings of glee may have more to do with vitamin D than actual happiness, we don’t mind.

In that vein, here are some delightful things that happened today:

The Easter bunny mailed me an Easter basket. It’s an enormous glass jar filled with jelly beans and M&Ms. I can’t wait to hide from myself and then find it on Sunday. I have the best Easter bunny ever.
One of my smart and funny co-workers tweeted this: “This is 40 (Degrees): Two lonely Minnesotans with cabin fever wear T-shirts outside prematurely … and find love.” Good stuff.
I ate an entire tub of hummus by myself. It was delicious. All of it.
Brian Boitano nearly died (again) and then revived himself (spring miracle?). I don’t know what happened, but a couple of good shakes to the ol’ fish bowl seemed to do the trick. I’ll keep an eye on him, but he seems as spry as ever.
The snow audibly melted. Everywhere I turned, the sound of water dripping, trickling and sloshing filled the air.
I thought it was Thursday, realized it was Wednesday and didn’t care one bit. I like my weekdays as much as my weekends (especially in the SPRING!).

Brian B., looking good.

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March 26, 2013

Day 122: Whatever Works

I try to steer clear of politics on here, because people become incredibly polarized incredibly quickly. But to me, marriage isn’t about politics. It’s about family—about making a commitment to being a family with another human being.

Here are four reasons I support gay marriage:

1. Marriage of any kind builds community. The U.S. gives families opportunities to care for each other in ways individuals cannot. In this glorious and frightening age of digital connectivity, we should celebrate any two individuals who choose to connect to each other in person and through law.

2. I want my friends to have every legal right that I have, even if some of us never choose to act on those rights.

3. Gay marriage doesn’t hurt anyone (or anything). Traditions live within the individuals who uphold them, not in how many people are included or excluded.

4. I’m nearly certain we have other pressing matters to discuss. Education, health, the environment, economics—no matter where you land on these topics, they seem like a bigger deal than a couple of folks trying to tie the knot.

“That’s why I can’t say enough times, whatever love you can get and give, whatever happiness you can filch or provide, every temporary measure of grace—whatever works.”
– Boris Yellnikoff in Whatever Works

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March 23, 2013

Day 119: For Little V

As I alluded to on Sunday, two of my dear friends welcomed a little peanut (human) into the world this week. She’s six days old today and I get to meet her this afternoon (!). Since she probably won’t understand anything I tell her today, I’m blogging her a list for future reference.

Dear V,

Here are some things you should know:

1. Lots of people love you.

2. Your parents are super cool. There might be a time between ages 10 and 20 when you don’t think so, but you’ll come back around.

3. Your super cool parents might embarrass you sometimes. You can get back at them by telling your dad you’re a Centrist (but only say it if you don’t really mean it; he loves that).

4. You were born into a world with a lot of problems, but you’re surrounded by incredible role models. There are problem-identifiers, solution-makers, strategic thinkers, beauty-seekers, doers, fixers, connectors and all-around kindhearted people. Your world will be full of opportunities, no matter what path you choose.

5. It’s okay to fail, whether you’re building a Lego castle or a business. Everybody fails. Just pick up the pieces and try something else.

6. Your mom will know if you’re smoking pot in the bathroom or hiding cigarettes in the car. She just will.

7. You and I are going to make some dances together. I’ve already come up with a few ideas, but I welcome yours as well.

Love,

Ashleigh

Your cool/embarrassing mom and me back in 2006 when we were pirates.

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March 19, 2013

Day 115: Advice for Dudes

Okay, guys. If you have an online dating profile, I have some advice for you.

Since I can only write this from my own perspective, not all of my advice may apply to you. But I’ll try to keep most of it universally applicable.

The Advice

Do ask someone to proofread your profile.

Do not mix up “you’re” and “your” or spell “intelligent” wrong.

Do include pictures of you smiling. Everybody likes a smile.

Do not include close up photos of your mustache. A surprisingly large number of you do this, and it’s actually really hard to tell you apart. Plus, I’m pretty sure mustaches were meant to be viewed in their entirety and not as individual hairs (ew).

Do let your personality come through on your profile, whether you’re goofy, serious, shy, etc.

Do not write generic phrases that could end up on every other person’s profile. Saying that you “work hard to play hard” doesn’t mean much without the context of the actual work or play. Also, what?

Do include pictures of you with your pets, kids, guitars, drums, siblings, rollerblades, friends, etc.

Do not include pictures of you with dead animals.

Do send messages to people you’re interested in meeting. Include a question or reference to their profile to let them know you aren’t spamming everyone on the Internet with, “Let’s talk. Meet me at Perkins.”

Do not berate the person you’re interested in meeting if they don’t write you back right away (or at all). Yelling/writing, “YOU’RE LOSS!” is not a successful way to get dates. (Also, see above.)

Do write about the things you like about yourself. Are you really good at making people feel comfortable (or uncomfortable)? Are you a rockin’ math tutor? Do you always win Jenga? Put it in your profile.

Do not refer to yourself as the most attractive, hilarious, well-groomed, smart, fit and humble person you know.

Do include your actual height.

Do not include someone else’s taller height. Your date will figure it out within the first half-second of meeting you.

Do include some information about the kind of person you’d like to meet. If it’s important that your partner enjoy running two-hour marathons with you, it’s worth a mention.

Do not paint yourself into a corner by being too specific about your ideal partner. You might be surprised to find out who clicks with you, and if you require too many traits, you’ll alienate some people you might really like.

In closing, do feel free to ignore any and all of this. (Except the mustache thing.)

Happy dating!

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March 13, 2013

Day 109: Day at the Mall

Erin, my best friend from graduate school, is in town from New York, so I took the day off of work and showed her around the mall. Yes, the mall.

My beautiful city is not lacking for lovely museums, music, hipster bars or awesome indie-local flavor. But Erin and I figured that we spend enough time in the artsy world, so today would be a good day for a trip to the biggest mall in America.

We had an awesome time. Here’s what we did:

1. Got our ears pierced for the third and eighth times, respectively. After walking past at least three Claire’s, we couldn’t resist the sleek (and sterile) purple signage. As we giggled and nervously chugged our Starbucks drinks, all four 12-year-old store patrons watched us with what appeared to be a mixture of confusion and admiration. (Neither of us cried.)

Erin getting her ears pierced, all zen-like.

2. Found a restaurant overlooking the full-blown indoor amusement park (yes, this mall has its own amusement park) and drank sangria.

Erin having a bonding moment with the ferris wheel.

3. Seriously contemplated making a bunch of super-cute Build-a-Bears and shipping them to New York. We managed to pass Build-a-Bear Workshop six or seven times, so it was really hard to resist, especially post-sangria.

5. Bought some pants. She got a necessary pair of hot pink jeggings and I grabbed some super useful skinny jeans in pink snakeskin (don’t ask me about the difference between jeggings and skinny jeans; I still don’t get it).

6. Declined multiple offers for store credit cards. Check that; Erin declined. As a true representative of the Midwest, I tried to say no passively and came home with a bag full of sign up forms.

Now we’re back in my apartment, drinking tea and plotting an evening of dive bar bowling in our fancy new pants.

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