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402 days. 402 (plus or minus… mostly minus) posts.

Tag: sisters

Day 311: To My Sister on Her 19th Day of Marriage

Dear Sister,

Congratulations. Not because you’re married now, and not because you threw an amazing party that your guests begrudgingly left high on laughter and wine and still super sweaty from dancing to What Does the Fox Say.

Congratulations because you’re a thoughtful, intelligent, funny, caring, dedicated, driven and beautiful person. And you married a guy who respects, challenges and loves you. I am proud to call him my brother.

Watching you on your wedding day reminded me how incredibly lucky I am to be your (slightly older and incredibly knowledgable) sister. But mostly your friend. You move through life with a sort of fierce grace that I so admire.

Since I neglected to leave these at the wedding itself, here are my wishes for you and my new little bro:

May you foster a bright light in each other. May you feed the light’s flame should it ever start to dim.

May you help each other grow, with the wisdom that you can grow in different and complementary ways.

May you let the little things go. May you respect the big things.

May you laugh and laugh and laugh.

May you not try to change each other. May you commit to constant personal growth instead.

May you create a safe and welcoming space for each other.

May you support each other’s interests but not each other’s habits.

May you always think quirks are cute.

May you celebrate the beautiful world together. May you cry sometimes, too.

May you pause often and let angry words float quietly away.

May you understand each other’s needs. May you respect that your partner’s needs may be different than yours.

May you work and relax.

And may you always remember that you have two sisters, two brothers and a host of other lovelies who are there for you anytime you need really good advice, dance instruction, booze, a good book, an arm to lean on, pizza, a doctor, perspective, funny jokes and/or an open ear. We’re only an instant phone call or a short plane ride away.

My sister's wedding(Also, thanks for picking out the killer bridesmaid dresses. Love, Ashleigh)

Day 164: Stuff and Things and Letting Go

Things strangely collect our emotions.

I posted a couple weeks ago about how giving away my loveseat on Craigslist was a tearful disaster (more because of the recipients than the item—but still). And today, my parents are moving. They packed up their Chicago house and are headed to the northwest.

We’ve never been a terribly nostalgic family when it comes to structures and stuff. Growing up, we moved more often than most of our friends, and settled ourselves in different parts of the country for the sake of adventure. We collected people and shed things every time we left a house, and always (almost) enjoyed the newness and excitement of reorganizing somewhere new.

But this move feels a little different. My parents are doing it without my sisters and me. We don’t have our own bedrooms in the new place (much to my mom’s chagrin), and there will be no school orientations, no track meets and no yearbook functions. It’s an adult move and they’re paring down.

Even our old art projects, skating ribbons and American Girl dolls aren’t going along for the ride. The remaining evidence of my sisters’ and my youth is heading into a storage unit outside of Chicago, where we can come and pilfer as we have time and space.

So for the last couple of months, my parents have been selling, donating and free-Craigslisting (sans tears) many of their belongings. I’ve seen the “come and get it” Facebook posts and waited on the phone as a 9-1-1 fallback while strangers picked up their couches and end tables. I was well aware that their things were going to new homes.

And I was fine with it until my mom posted a picture of my dad’s charcoal Weber grill (the one he received for college graduation and has been using ever since), and called it up for grabs.

Instinctually, I grabbed. Out of sheer terror. I mean, what would my parents be without the Weber? I grew up understanding its timelessness, its durability and its knack for producing the perfect, patiently grilled steak. I knew I had to hang on to it for them, lest their personalities disappear completely with this move.

The Weber

There she is.

Two text messages with my mom proved logically otherwise. They don’t need it anymore. And I’m a vegetarian living in a one-bedroom apartment with no outdoor space. Though I remember the grill being a fine roommate when it had a deck to itself, in my current arrangement it would coat my wispy curtains with soot and be the centerpiece of my living room. And it doesn’t do so well with veggies. She gave it to a grateful neighbor instead.

The bottom line is that stuff gets you sometimes. And then you have to let it go.

Because really, stuff is nothing without people.